Why Can't Children Do Tricks on Goddamn Command?

Imma make mommy look cray cray....

I spent a considerable amount of time over Christmas trying to get the baby to show off the amazing and wonderful trick I taught him. This is a tradition that started with his older brother, who would do it at the drop of a hat. He would do it without asking. He would walk right up to total strangers and bust this sucker out. Mavbling? Not so much.

There was a lot of, come on baby! Do it for mommy! What does Santa say? And a lot of me, sweating, saying, ‘I swear, he does this all the time when no one is here, heh heh.’ And a lot of people looking at me like, that poor, delusional woman.

Well, to all of those people I say HA!!! The second you all left, LOOK WHAT MY BABY DID! Bask in the cute, folks.