Reasons by Wormy

I stand here before you, naked.  I am going to strip down and bare my soul, heartache and triumph to you.   As you well know, Mindbling and I have been in a sort of hiding for some time and I’m going to share with you my reasons why.  I feel naked already…

On September 4, 2009 my world as I knew it started to crumble and ended up a pile of rubble at my feet.  On that day I found out that Goffchile had been cheating on me.  I…was…devastated, to say the least.  Six years of building a life together….down the drain in a moment.  A moment I wouldn’t wish on anyone and a moment I hope I never have to live through again.  I found out at 10am and he was out of our apartment by 2pm.  I never let him back in.  For having the strength to do that, I am grateful to the universe and my friends.  My friends have been my support system like no other.  They have taken me out, let me drink myself silly, taken care of me and let me cry way too much.  And nobody complained, not once.  They are the best friends in the world.  I hope everyone is this lucky.

On September 9, I found out my Dad has esophagus cancer, stage 3.  The only reason he even found out is because he went in for one test and by accident they gave him an additional test he wasn’t scheduled for.  He has no symptoms, feels great and is in really great health otherwise.  He will be starting chemo for 4 months next week, and will have surgery after that.  The good news is it hasn’t spread anywhere but the bad news is its in his lymph nodes.  I’m staying positive because really, someone was looking down on him for that mistake of putting another test on his chart to be made. I don’t feel like he was meant to die from this, otherwise why would that have happened?  You might not believe in fate, but I do.  That’s all I have to cling onto right now.

On September 13, 2009 I came down with the WORST case of bronchitis I have ever experienced.  It started out as a cold…seemed normal enough….until…..

On September 20, 2009 I turned 37. Yep, you heard me.  I know I look good, right? Moisturize!  I went out to lunch with Mom, and she took one look at me and said I had to go to MedExpress NOW.  This little cold turned into a living hell…so we troop over to Medexpress and I end up getting a breathing treatment, steroid shot in my ass and three prescriptions. ON MY FRIGGING BIRTHDAY!!!!  But that wasn’t even the worst of it.  I ended up getting into an insane fight with my mom right after the doctors because she is a crazy lunatic.  (As a side note, my parents have been divorced for 28 years so its not like she is dealing with my dad’s cancer…I mean, she feels bad and all but thats not what this was about.)  Its not even worth getting into but let me tell you this: I ended up hyperventilating, crying, curled up in the fetal position of the driver side of my car. Basically I was having a complete nervous breakdown, and who could blame me?

September 2009 can suck my Italian ass…I never want to even think of it again.  But, my dad is in good spirits, I’m talking to mom again, my bronchitis has cleared up and I already have had a date.

October 2009 is definitely looking better.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Reasons by Wormy

  1. APR

    The best part of living in hell is that you can only go up. Happy fresh start, Wormy. 🙂

  2. izzy

    Wormy, congratulations on your new start. I’m sorry you’ve been having such a hard time. Call the Cancer Caring Center, they provide free emotional support for cancer patients and families………they can be a big help at this time.

  3. I only heard about your situation a short time before I saw you Friday night. I have to tell you, you looked very energized, and frankly on fire! My brother used to have a sign by his mirror that shouted “That that doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” , unfortunately the shit he was talking about killed him. But you looked great this weekend and I hope everything in your life, including your Pop’s health turns out well, we love ya

  4. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Well… all of it. I know that in my life, when it rains, it pours, and you know what? Every single time it feels like the world is crashing in on me from every side possible, and that there’s no way that things are going to get better… but you know what? They always do. And those horrible experiences usually lead to amazing ones in the end. I’m a strong advocate for learning from every situation — good or bad– and taking those lessons forward with me into new relationships, jobs, friendships, and even how I try to live my life. It doesn’t always work, but trying sure as hell beats letting the world box you in and beat you down, girl.

    You look fabulous, and trust me… you’ll be fine. I promise.

    If not, you’re always welcome for a visit to Baltimore. I have a killer soaking tub. 😉

  5. Pingback: Kicking Cancer’s Ass « BitchBurgh

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