This year’s Podcamp was a coming out party in many respects for me; I sort of felt like a Georgia Debutant. MB and I launched the new blog, it was my first appearance since Goffchile and I broke up and I got my hair done. I had expectations of a great time, great friends and great booze. What I didn’t expect or see coming from a mile away was to fall crazy for someone.
Reflecting on the past 6 years of my life I realized how much I’ve learned about life, love, myself, what I want and don’t want, what’s exceptable and what’s not worth the time. I learned how to cook, how to camp, the fact that I hate Cincinnati, love sushi, can throw a mad dinner party Rachel Ray style in under 30 minutes and how to organize a scavenger hunt for 40 people. I also figured out who I want in my world and who I don’t want in my galaxy. I look back and think of all the time wasted trying to make something work that was set up to fail and it really saddened me. Until I went to Podcamp.
And then I met Chilla. And my world turned on its axis. At first, I felt that this was too soon, this can’t be happening, this isn’t right, what the hell am I doing??????? You big dummy, you just ended a 6 year relationship! You should be alone for awhile….stand up on your own two feet and feel some freedom! Why are you letting this happen??? Every time I felt myself pushing back away from him, I could feel a force pushing me forward, towards him. It physically felt like someone standing behind me with their hands on my back pushing me uphill. It got really exhausting! Push-pull-push-pull….I just decided to give up….and give in….and just let myself feel what it wanted and needed to feel. I just had to let go…of all of it.
And I’m so glad I did. It’s been pretty amazing so far. If it wasn’t for social media, Podcamp and Mindbling forcing me to go to actual sessions none of this would have happened. We probably wouldn’t even have met, at least not yet. Your life plan is in motion, you just have to let it happen.