Mindbling Gets Her Malt Liquor On

My first official Olde E!

I have had a lot of drinks in my life. Flaming drinks, drinks that had worms in them, drinks that I had no clue as to the actual contents, drinks that curdled in your mouth on purpose, drinks that you had to sigh waivers for, drinks that I made up by scouring my liquor cabinet, in one memorable instance mixing chai tea mix with Khaula and gin (pro tip: don’t do it. ever).

But in all my drinking days, I have never had a malt liquor drink. Until last night. Mavrick, it turns out, is an Olde English Malt Liquor fan. Especially during Steeler games. So Monday night football found me at his house, the proud recipient of my first can of what he affectionately calls Olde E.

Actually, pretty much everyone calls it Olde E, but I digress …

I took my first cautious sip. Hey. This stuff isn’t too bad. Took my second sip. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty darn good. Took my third sip. Why haven’t I ever had this before? By my fourth sip, I was hooked. I liked Malt Liquor.

I ended up drinking four-16 oz cans of the stuff, which is the equivalent of 43 regular beers. They were that goshdarn tasty.

I email Mavrick this morning to tell him how much I liked them. He was very glad to hear this, and suggested the next time, we do it up right and drink 40’s. He then told me about what I am going to go ahead and declare the best drinking game ever.

Edward 40 Hands.

You duct tape an Olde E 40 to each hand, and you can’t untape them until you drink them both. According to Mavrick, it makes peeing quite the challenge. I don’t give a hoot how hard it is to pee, I am playing this game. To quote my Bitchburgh partner in crime from her fantastic lunch post, who’s with me?




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8 responses to “Mindbling Gets Her Malt Liquor On

  1. I think he means that it would be hard for HIM to pee… accurately, anyway…

  2. wormy

    I think it should be a tweet up!

  3. Abby

    Ok, I feel kinda weird that I knew about this before you. Secondly, if you want an Edward 40 hands tweetup, we need designated “bathroom helpers.” I am not kidding. Also, not it.

  4. lauren_hbg

    I’ve heard Edward 40-hands is quite a challenge – it’s rather funny to watch others partake in the game though, when you’re not taped to two 40-oz. bottles yourself.

  5. Joe

    Yeehaw malt liquor, damn girl, didn’t you experience the “headache of the malt” in your youts? What’s a yout? (this is a reference, but hoop wouldn’t know it because he borrows movies but never watches them).

  6. Mindbling. You’ve never played E40H? I recommend going full on “Colt 45” on that shit.

  7. Starsky

    I have witnessed, although never participated, in a game of Edward 40-Hands. It’s quite the entertainment if I do say so myself. It also makes smoking a cigarette a bit difficult as well…

    In the spirit of drinking, I must share my favorite toast with you….

    “Here’s to you,
    Here’s to me.

    The best of friends,
    we shall be.

    If we ever disagree…
    Fuck you!
    Here’s to me!”

  8. Baby Daddy

    Bullshit. I have personally witnessed you not only drink a 40 of Ol’ E……but also St. Ides and maybe even a 64 oz Crazy horse.

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