Growing up, my Uncle Detroit was one of those really annoying people that even as a kid; you knew you were never going to like him. He wasn’t a bad person per say, just did a lot of things to annoy me. When I was in high school I was on the Drill Team. Every time his family came to visit he would always say “How are the Flag Fags?” I didn’t twirl flags (no offense to anyone that did) and he knew I didn’t twirl flags, there wasn’t a flag within a 100 yards of my house, but he continued to say it and taunt me with it. And who says the word “fag” to a 17 year old girl anyway? I took being a dance major very seriously and didn’t find any of this funny especially after the 1 millionth time.
Fast forward to 2007. Uncle Detroit is still annoying and now he knows how to use email and the internet. He would consistently send forwards that were of a political nature that he knew I didn’t agree with. I normally would just delete them and move on with my life.
One day he sent a racially charged email that I could not ignore. It offended me so much I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer. I figured I’m not a child anymore, if he thinks he can just send this out and its okay I’m going to let him know. So, I sent a reply. Actually, it was a “Reply All’….on purpose….and told him and all this contacts what I really thought. I felt that if he had the right to publicly send this out, I had the right to publicly respond. What happened after that was World War III via the interwebs, getting all sorts of family members involved and we’ve never spoken since.
Last week I get an email from my cousin, Malibu Barbie (she is Uncle Detroit’s daughter). To summarize:
I want to call you regarding that stupid old shizzzz that my silly lil’ father can’t seem to get over. I have never really acknowledged it in hopes that it would just go away. Apparently, it still exists.
I know he sent that email that was offensive. He is an old man that was /is”WOW’d” with email and was a forwarding nut for too long. He thinks everyone wants to know what he thinks is interesting, amusing, and politically correct. I have told him time and time again…No one does!
My dad is so weird! He still says things that are so stupid and outright ridiculous but it turns out I really do like him, despite all the past issues and dumb comments. I just want peace between him and all our family….
Could you maybe give him a shout out? I mean really…do you still care what a bitter fella from PA/MI emailed you a while back? I think your response was totally valid but sending it to everyone really hurt him. He still tosses and turns over it. Let bygones (SP?) be bygones and be Merry. Whatdayathink???
Give me your number and know that if you can’t do it…I totally understand. I love you very much no matter what.
Honestly, I don’t even remember what I said to him it was so long ago and I’m really not mad anymore. I don’t even give it a thought. According to her, he has never stopped thinking about it. I don’t know if she is exaggerating that he “tosses and turns” over it but what I do know is that Malibu Barbie is getting married this year and A) she is afraid I won’t come cause of having to see her Dad (I want to go, its in California and I’ve never been there) and B) if I do come will I start a fight (Who? Me? Srsly, I would never do that at her wedding. I would just ignore him the whole time)
So readers, what do I do? I don’t think I need to apologize formally. He’s an adult, I’m an adult….and I’m stubborn and don’t want him to think he has the upper hand just because I would be the one extending the olive branch. I don’t see him sending anything in the way of “I was wrong and sorry I offended you” type of thing. I know there is taking the high road, and what I am willing to do, only because I love Malibu Barbie so much is to send an email to him saying something like “I hope we can put our differences of opinion behind us and celebrate Malibu Barbie’s upcoming nuptials together” or something like that.
I need your advice, ya’ll!