Wormy’s Bone Phone to iPhone Evolution

For Valentines Day, one of my gifts from Chilla was an iPhone with all the trimmings.  It’s my new mistress.  I can’t help it.  I always looked at people with iPhones and could never figure out why their backs were always hunched over it, fingers a-tapping and oblivious to everyone around them.  Now I know. I’ve become one of THEM, in like a day.  And I love it. Don’t hate me for being weak.

Monday was President’s Day and Chilla and I had the day off and of course it snowed. What the hell else is new, right?  So that day seemed like the perfect day to clean and organize the basement.  Chilla has decided that I have hoarding qualities similar to those on the TV show just because I have bags of bags.  Lemme explain.  I keep gift bags.  All of them.  Christmas, birthday, Wedding Shower, Ramadan….whatever.  I just think it’s a waste to throw them away when they can be reused.  (I’m Green like that.  Or a hoarder.  Depends on how you look at it.) The problem is I either forget I have them or can only find Christmas when I need birthday and can only find Hanukah when I need a baby shower bag and I end up just going out and buying new bags, hence never getting rid of the abundance I already have.  Over time this has accumulated to 4 large bags of bags.  That is a shit ton of bags I’m telling you.  I’m happy to say I went through them all and condensed it to 2 smaller bags.  One of just birthday and one of Christmas/Passover/4th of July bags.  I’m quite proud of myself, thankyouverymuch. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.  You didn’t think I would throw them ALL away did you?

Anyway, going through boxes full of shit I haven’t seen in 15 years and throwing said shit away is very therapeutic and sometimes you stumble onto great treasures.  And a treasure I did find.

I was digging through a large box that contained Christmas wrapping paper (stuff it), an old garment bag and another black bag at the bottom of the box.  I had no idea what it was as I was pulling it out and then when the light hit it…I KNEW.  I’ve told stories about this item.  It’s almost turned into a legend because in all the times I’ve moved I haven’t’ ever been able to find it and no one has ever seen it. I think people don’t believe it really even existed.  Its whereabouts have eluded me for years, until now.

I found Nessy, my bagphone from 1992.  My very first “cell” phone actually and I’m using that term extremely loosely.  It was really a car phone. You couldn’t walk around with it, nor did you want to. That thing weighed a small ton and took up a lot of room. It was like carrying another purse. It had to be plugged into the car cigarette lighter for it to work, but boy was I the coolest chick on the block with this thing!  My minute plan was something like .58 cents a minute and it was worth every penny.

Chilla also thinks I have a hoarding problem with cell phones.  I’ve kept them all.  Sue me.  He came up with the genius idea to line them up and taa-daa!  My life….in cell phones.

Just as an FYI there is a Razor phone missing from this picture. That is because someone who’s name rhymes with Billa had me sell it. I’m regretting that decision just because I like to collect < hoard> things.

Look at that grey bone phone with the huge antenna, circa 1996 maybe?….I can’t believe that fit in my small nightclub purse I would take with me to Chauncey’s….Gawd, I really was cool. Hell, I still am…who are we kidding, right?  Right?

The nice thing is, now that I found the bag phone, all my OTHER phones fit inside it nice and neat.  Now Chilla won’t know how many I’m “collecting”. <Tee Hee>



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10 responses to “Wormy’s Bone Phone to iPhone Evolution

  1. APR

    Thank you, so very much, for the laugh. You are too much.

  2. it remind of myself,i had a 6 years old nokia1100 and iPhone ;p

  3. Little do you know the number of phones I have. I probably have a phone to match every outfit. I consider it more of an accessory. We all need to accessorize more 😉 ! The difference is all mine are still functional and I can use them at any time 🙂

  4. Pam

    This is great. I remember using the “car phone” to call my dad after I wrecked for the very first time at the tender age of 17. Oh the memories…

  5. Hot Mama

    OMG!!! I met you right around Nokia. Haha! You were super cool because I think you were the only one of my friends who actually had a cell phone at that time. LOVES IT!!

  6. mike

    Ok, FYI. some of those phones are collector items, seriously put that bag phone on ebay!!!! People want those things.
    Now if we can get Beth to clean her basement.

  7. lauren_hbg

    No worries – I, too, have bags of bags, and in some cases, boxes of bags. I decided to start the box o’bags because I would always get pissed when I need the bag in which the other bags were residing. The same thing applies with Christmas wrapping accessories – ribbon, bows, sparkly stuff, etc. I have tons of it.

    Hi, I’m Lauren. You might see me on Hoarders in the near future.

  8. I have bags and wrapping stuff, too, neatly boxed up underneath the guest bed. And every now and again, I remember that I don’t NEED to buy another gift bag/roll of wrapping paper. (Tissue paper is a whole ‘nother story.) I’m slowly getting rid of that stuff.

    My husband is the true hoarder, though. Don’t get me started.

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