For Valentines Day, one of my gifts from Chilla was an iPhone with all the trimmings. It’s my new mistress. I can’t help it. I always looked at people with iPhones and could never figure out why their backs were always hunched over it, fingers a-tapping and oblivious to everyone around them. Now I know. I’ve become one of THEM, in like a day. And I love it. Don’t hate me for being weak.
Monday was President’s Day and Chilla and I had the day off and of course it snowed. What the hell else is new, right? So that day seemed like the perfect day to clean and organize the basement. Chilla has decided that I have hoarding qualities similar to those on the TV show just because I have bags of bags. Lemme explain. I keep gift bags. All of them. Christmas, birthday, Wedding Shower, Ramadan….whatever. I just think it’s a waste to throw them away when they can be reused. (I’m Green like that. Or a hoarder. Depends on how you look at it.) The problem is I either forget I have them or can only find Christmas when I need birthday and can only find Hanukah when I need a baby shower bag and I end up just going out and buying new bags, hence never getting rid of the abundance I already have. Over time this has accumulated to 4 large bags of bags. That is a shit ton of bags I’m telling you. I’m happy to say I went through them all and condensed it to 2 smaller bags. One of just birthday and one of Christmas/Passover/4th of July bags. I’m quite proud of myself, thankyouverymuch. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. You didn’t think I would throw them ALL away did you?
Anyway, going through boxes full of shit I haven’t seen in 15 years and throwing said shit away is very therapeutic and sometimes you stumble onto great treasures. And a treasure I did find.
I was digging through a large box that contained Christmas wrapping paper (stuff it), an old garment bag and another black bag at the bottom of the box. I had no idea what it was as I was pulling it out and then when the light hit it…I KNEW. I’ve told stories about this item. It’s almost turned into a legend because in all the times I’ve moved I haven’t’ ever been able to find it and no one has ever seen it. I think people don’t believe it really even existed. Its whereabouts have eluded me for years, until now.
I found Nessy, my bagphone from 1992. My very first “cell” phone actually and I’m using that term extremely loosely. It was really a car phone. You couldn’t walk around with it, nor did you want to. That thing weighed a small ton and took up a lot of room. It was like carrying another purse. It had to be plugged into the car cigarette lighter for it to work, but boy was I the coolest chick on the block with this thing! My minute plan was something like .58 cents a minute and it was worth every penny.
Chilla also thinks I have a hoarding problem with cell phones. I’ve kept them all. Sue me. He came up with the genius idea to line them up and taa-daa! My life….in cell phones.
Look at that grey bone phone with the huge antenna, circa 1996 maybe?….I can’t believe that fit in my small nightclub purse I would take with me to Chauncey’s….Gawd, I really was cool. Hell, I still am…who are we kidding, right? Right?
The nice thing is, now that I found the bag phone, all my OTHER phones fit inside it nice and neat. Now Chilla won’t know how many I’m “collecting”. <Tee Hee>