Which Bitch Is Walking Around Be-fetused?

Actual, original test. Notice the giant, honking PLUS SIGN.

Big news over here at Bitchburgh. One of the Bitches got knocked up. That’s right. One of us had a sperm fertilize an egg, and it is now busy developing into what will surely be the coolest, if not the snarkiest, child on the planet. But which one of us is it?

Could it be …. Wormy?

Let’s think this one out. Wormy and Chilla are hella in love, and have been having a mind-blowing amount of sex. Next up on their agenda is marriage and children, like in a year or two, but DID LIFE HAVE OTHER PLANS?? Wormy is thirty coughcoughcough, and anxious to be a first time mom. Could this be a most welcome happy accident?

…or could it be Mindbling?

Her and Mavrick have also been hitting it pretty hard. And they do drink a lot, which could lead to poor decision making. But is this self-professed ‘One and done’ really willing to hit the reset button and start over with jr. being thisclose to full grown? Also, can she really stop drinking long enough to gestate? And, are her rum-soaked eggs even still viable?

… or could it be Hot Mama?

Is this married mother of two beautiful boys finally trying for that little bitch she has always wanted? We know her youngest son, Smiley, hopes so, because he is getting tired of her dressing him up in leopard print.  But! Do married people really even have sex? So many questions ….

And only ONE right answer. Can YOU guess which Bitch got knocked up? We will be giving away a box of wine to one of our lucky readers. Just leave your best guess in the comments section, hell, you can even toss in a reason if you want, and a randomly drawn winner will be the lucky recipient of the best boxed wine money can buy for under $20.

Good luck peeps! Have fun wondering about the fate of our vaginas!!

Wormy, Mindbling, and Hot Mama-

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36 Comments

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36 responses to “Which Bitch Is Walking Around Be-fetused?

  1. shanlin1022

    sweet jeez! well congrats to the mom to be regardless!
    im guessing hot mama

  2. HOLY CRAP. Congratulations to whomever, but I think I’m going to go with Wormy.

    I can’t wait to find out the end of this story……

  3. OMGAH! How could you not just tell us? HOW?

    I’m going with Hot Mama, but only because Mindbling wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret for even one second. NOT POSSIBLE.

  4. APR

    Sweet jeez is correct. I guess Wormy, because I think she’ll a hilarious prego.

  5. Congrats to the mom-to-be. There is definitely something in the Twitter stream. I’ll put my wager on Hot Mama.

  6. Mrs. Crappy

    Got to say I got to go with Hot Mama, cause it seems like after you have a couple that third one tends to sneak up on you.
    Overall, while congrats are in order, what is with the baby boom here in the Burgh? I’m getting scared to drink the water!

  7. TammyG817

    Holy testicles Batman! Hot Mama is too logical a choice, Wormy would be next, so I’m going all out and Saying MindBling….

  8. I’m going with Hot Mama, just cause of the marriage thing. It’s going around … my buddy’s wife just became preggers, too.

  9. Dan

    Wow! What a cliffhanger! I’m going to explode from the anticipation!!

    I guess it’s a good thing I already know the answer or otherwise I’d be a wreck.

    Congratulations to the mom-to-be!

  10. I dont know who to guess. I just know that i am scared for humanity and will be wiring a cave with electricity and internet access.

  11. Pam

    Holy crap. I’m guessing Wormy because she’ll be so ridunculously adorable with a baby bump and because her and Chilla are so in love that it makes me giggle and be less cynical.

  12. DanniNav

    OMG…I’m guessing Wormy because I’m not sure why else Chilla would have forwarded this to me if it wasn’t…

  13. I’m going to guess Wormy. I really want it to be her for some reason.

    Can’t wait to find out!

  14. Congrats to all three bitches, although I’m guessing Wormy is the lucky new mom. Also, I’m shutting down Mrs. Crappy’s Twitter account, at least until this rash of pregnancies calms down a little bit.

  15. AmyR.

    I’ve got my supersleuth hat on … it can’t be HotMama because she recently tweeted/facebooked about cramps. So between Wormy and MindBling, I’m gonna guess Wormy! A Wormy/Chilla mashup … Willa?

  16. Michelle

    Congrats to the new momma! I vote for Hot Mama.

  17. Do I get to guess? I think I’m really sure who is pregnant, but what if it’s more than one?

  18. Jordan

    I’m going with Hot Mama for one simple tweet…

    “@hotmamapgh is it weird that I have been sick all day and all of a sudden I am starving and want a glass of wine?”

    Anywhichway— Congrats!

  19. Congrats to whomever lol

    Im gonna go for Hot Mama tho.

  20. annoyedangelrants

    I’m going to guess Hot Mama. But it was a tough decision.

    Congrats to whomever it is!

  21. There is definitely something in the bloggers’ water in the ‘burgh. I’m going with Hot Mama but I’m hoping it’s ALL THREE!!!

  22. Joe

    Terms? Alcohol. I’m in! So let us surmise: Two of the ladies are pictured in a public facility, nay let me consider that perhaps it is a home setting in that they struggle removing themselves from their throne once business has concluded and my toiletry experience has not witnesses the cooperation of banisters in my latrine. Nevertheless, fecund sources have given the following testimony: WOMEN HOVER OVER PUBLIC URINALS! Result: Staged photography. Furthermore, one can surmise that this may be a “2×100 photoonthecomode EPT Test Stick Warm Handoff Chinese fire drill” procedure choreographed by the Woman’s Restroom Barnstorming Soft Pornographer “Chilla”, the one and only, so that this is in fact a failed simulation of his dubious impression of a Kevin Smith Mallrats like stunt on a bored Saturday at the mall. It should be noted that the lighting did accentuate the lasses hips quite nicely. Therefore, my position would have Hot Mama in the correct condition as to proclaim a third to her husband. Congratulations Hot Mama.

  23. I vote Hot Mama, because she already knows the drill. And if I win, I also donate the wine to someone closer.

  24. Starsky

    I’m gonna go with Hot Mama, but congrats to the lucky Bitch. I love being a mom.

    Loved reading the rational behind the choices. I too will donate my box if I win, to the two non-knocked up Bitches and a glass of grape juice to the knocked up one for a celebration toast.

    “Here’s to you, here’s to me. The best of friends we shall be. If we ever disagree, fuck you, here’s to me.”

  25. cuzziewuzzie

    so if one knows, one cannot lie and ‘guess’. however, to those who are willing to donate the box of wine- should you be the winner i’ll gladly be the recipient since i am being honest and not ‘guessing’ being that i have been privy to the truth…. just saying is all. cuzziewuzzie’s thirsty.

  26. My first thought was Hot Mama. If it’s not a girl, she could always try and start a boy band. It worked for Mrs. Jonas.

    But then I looked back through the posts. So I’m going with MB getting bitchslapped by karma for doing it within earshot of her boyfriend’s Kentucky Fried parents.

  27. lauren_hbg

    The suspense is killing me – I’m going to guess Wormy, for no real reason other than the hopes of winning a box of wine for my guess.

  28. Listen, bitches. I’ve been pacing and pacing and pacing and pacing, which is good for the calves and ass but not good for the ol’ mental exhaustion factor. Are you going to tell me or am I coming out there to shake you? 😉

  29. TTG

    oooh I like whine. I’m going with Hot Mama

    Congrats!!

  30. jessess

    Oh, I have to guess. Hm. Mindbling hasn’t been drunk in awhile, I pick her. Plus, I want to call the fetus “BabyBling”

  31. sjillis

    Really, I believe it’s Wormy, but after reading the responses, I have to go with the underdog (er, underbitch). Congratulations, Mindbling!

  32. I guess Wormy!

    (But congrats to whoever!)

  33. Hot Mama is the one mailing in the dramatic re-enactment. Therefore, she gets my vote.

    Mazeltov!

  34. I will guess Hot Mama as well. I don’t do boxed wine, so I will also be happy to donate it to whoever isn’t pregnant.

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