Seattle discovers Crack(berries)

Our good friend Seattle just discovered its 2010 and wrote a blog about it.  Enjoy!

I am not the fastest person to own new technology. In some ways, I guess I’m like a stodgy old man, despite being a young (let me hang on to the word young for just a few more years)…person. (Woman makes me think of my mom’s generation). Anyway, in 2003 when I graduated from college, my dad wanted to buy me a new computer to take to graduate school…did I want him to buy me a laptop or a desktop? Oh, well, who needs a laptop? Seriously, I just want a desktop computer, laptops are sooo unnecessary. Of course, I bought myself a laptop the following year because when you’re in graduate school, it turns out laptops are really quite necessary…

Anyway, so just like with hanging onto the desktop rather than a laptop, I avoided the new age of iPhones and Blackberries. Who needs a phone that can surf the web and get email? Because let me tell you what happens when you have one of those phones in my experience: you end up being attached to work. I saw it with Wikki’s fiancé first- he was always getting calls and emails from work. Then my former boss got one and she wouldn’t even put the damned thing down long enough to listen to her students give lab meeting presentations…um, rude. I’m so not one of those people. I will check my email and browse the web on my work computer when I get into work and when I see my desk like everyone else thank you very much…. Then I started to realize these things also have GPS… I’m notoriously a lost cause with directions. As an example- Wikki lived on Mount Washington for years of our friendship and I must have been there almost weekly for all of that time. When I had to drive there by myself, however, for my own bachelorette party, coming from the east side, I somehow got lost, like really lost, somewhere to the south of Pittsburgh. Wormy had to talk me out of McKees Rocks or somewhere, I don’t know it’s been like 2 years since I’ve driven in Pittsburgh and I can’t even remember how to navigate anywhere anymore. My point is: something in my brain started to realize these fancy phones are kind of cool. And I was only like 10 years behind the rest of the world in thinking this.

SO I suggest to my tech-geek husband (really, he’s an engineer) that we should go to Sprint and check out some new phones. We have both had Verizon for like 10 years longer than we’ve known each other. But I thought Verizon was ripping us off and that Sprint might be a lot cheaper. So we hop in the car and go look at new phones. Turns out these little Blackberry Curves are on sale for buy one get one free, and Sprint’s service is SOOO cheap. Hardly more than we were paying for 700 combined minutes and 250 texts a month with Verizon. Sign us up. Oh, and you get 30 days free to decide if you like their service. You can’t lose. We port our phone numbers to Sprint and go on our way. Great. We paid $100 to get out of our Verizon contract and everything, just to go to Sprint.

Except our phones now get NO reception in our house. We can’t talk to anyone. We can text, we can surf the web, we can download Apps like crazy because we have Wifi, but we can’t use our PHONES to TALK to anyone inside of our house. Reception was that bad. NO phone service. So now I have a tiny laptop but no phone. Not going to work for me. We live with this for like a week, then we decide enough is enough…let’s find out whether we can go back to Verizon. Except now I’m totally used to surfing the web on my phone on the bus on my way to work. We sit on the couch and just check our email, look at BitchBurgh, check Facebook…we don’t even talk to each other any more. We’re completely addicted. How can I go back to my 3 year old Nokia Juke that doesn’t even play music? At this point, I realize this Blackberry thing is more addictive than crack. We sit in a techy stupor playing with our phones, not having a relationship, not talking to each other or anyone else because our phones don’t work. So how can we go back to Verizon and our old phones?

Well, we go to the Verizon store and decide we’re willing to pay to have our phones upgraded. No dice. Sorry, you need to call this number on this card and have your numbers ported back to your old phones. Then wait until your bill comes and you see that your $100 has been credited back to your account for coming back to Verizon. Then maybe we’ll see about upgrading your phone, but you have to wait until your current contract is up (in 11 months). My fingers are itching. How can I give up my new Crack-Berry? How can I wait 11 months for surfing the web on the bus with a tiny laptop? But how can I own a PHONE I can’t TALK to anybody on??? This SUCKS. Genius idea- what if we sign up for new service, accept the $100 fee for canceling our old service and get new phones? THEY also have buy 2 Crackberries, get one free and they’re like $30 cheaper…ok, the phone service itself will cost us more than our cable AND internet service every month, but I’m now addicted, I can’t go back. I NEED my fix! SO cancel our Sprint service and give back the phones and lose our phone numbers (annoying for all of our friends and family) and get the new Verizon phones. I still have my crack.

Funny ending though, we got a mailing from Verizon the next day saying “come back and we’ll give you anything you want. Turns out the guy at the store was a big fat liar, and they could have ported our phone numbers back to any phone we wanted, and they could have given us the $100 credit any time we wanted. The husband called and got the money credited back to our account, and we ended up getting pretty much something for nothing out of the whole thing, and upgraded for free and all that, but it was certainly a crazy week in Seattle. I read Hot Mama’s baseball story on my way in to work this morning. I also checked the Pens scores all the way home on the bus last night. Why does it take me so long to learn to love new technology?


1 Comment

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One response to “Seattle discovers Crack(berries)

  1. I still refuse to part with my 2006 Samsung and my non-internet using service. Hell, I probably don’t even turn the thing ON but maybe twice a month…

    Now you kids get off my lawn…

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