We have a guest blogger today at BitchBurgh. Our good friend Sundae has written a blog about enlightenment, tattoo’s and Jessica Simpson. Enjoy!
Stop Bitching and Start A Revolution! Clever saying, nice thought, great idea but what does it mean to me? Nothing right? Who the hell am I? What kind of revolution do I need? I’m not against a revolution, in fact, if you start a revolution I’ll be right there to cheer you on! Go team revolution!
Well guess what? I am team revolution! Thanks to a tattoo and Jessica Simpson. Yes, Jessica Simpson was one of the catalysts for my revolution. I don’t like it any more than you do, but the Universe works in mysterious ways and if the Universe wants to use Jessica-who am I to argue?
Here’s the deal, I recently went on little shopping spree-you know the kind that you inadvertently time right before your period shows up, the time of the month you will be at your absolute worst, feeling fatter than normal, bloated, miserable and did I mention fat?!
All I wanted was a cute dress! Well, there were no cute dresses for me, nor were there any cute tops, pants, or jackets! There was NOTHING for me because I am FAT! What was I thinking? I can’t just go to the mall, perish the thought! How foolish I was to forget-I AM FAT, there are no fat clothes in the mall! There are no fat stores in the mall-I think it’s a rule-all fat stores must be a minimum of 20 miles away from any mall. Can you blame them, who wants to see fat people in the mall? Oh I know they sneak in, but let’s face it, if they didn’t who would be at the food court?
And that’s when it hit me, REMEMBER!!! That should be my tattoo! I will REMEMBER that I am FAT. I do not fit into the mold society has set, I will REMEMBER and I will do something about it! Yes, I will eternally mark my flesh with the word REMEMBER so that I might be reminded of this hideous moment when I realized that I am FAT and this is not acceptable. I will have the word REMEMBER tattooed on my wrist. It will serve as a reminder, a reminder to REMEMBER what’s important-fat is wrong! I will remember how much I hate being fat, this will motivate me not to eat anything bad-ever again. It will remind me to conform, fit the mold, and be like “them”! And most of all it will remind me to hate myself, thereby motivating me to diet and exercise so that I might fit into the mold society has set for women (and the clothes at the mall).
And then I watched Oprah, and there she was, Jessica Simpson. Now I know what you must be thinking, Jessica Simpson? The woman is not exactly known for her, shall we say, intellect, nevertheless it was her conversation with Oprah that forever changed my life. Oprah asked Jessica the age old question-what size do you wear? Her answer astounded me, “I fluctuate between a four and a six“. Did she really say “a four and six“? and “they” consider her fat? Excuse me? If Jessica’s Simpson fluctuates between a size four and a size six and she is considered fat, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ME?! Apparently I’m next in line to replace Shamu at Sea World.
NO! You know what it makes me? It makes me NORMAL! I know Hollywood doesn’t want to accept it but guess what? I am the majority! And this is my “a ha” moment!
What if I took all the energy it takes to hate myself every single day simply for not being thin enough, for not looking like “they” say I should, for not being “good” enough-how about I take that energy and I learn to like myself! Just the way I am! What a novel concept, I’m breaking new ground here, has this ever been done? Will they let me do this? If I learn to like me, then I don’t need to buy what they’re selling, now do I? Look at that, it’s already started to happen-I’m thinking for myself! I’ll probably need to go underground Salman Rushdie style soon-so listen up!
I am getting a tattoo, I am still having the word REMEMBER tattooed on my wrist. Only this time it will be for my father, to honor his life, to remember him every day. I will remember what a great man he was; I will remember how much he loved me, unconditionally-how much both my parents love me. I will remember his love was not based on the size of my clothes, rather, the size of my heart. I will REMEMBER the values he instilled in me. I will remember his quick wit, his wicked sarcasm, his sense of humor, I will remember that I am his daughter; I am a living reflection of him. I will honor his memory and I will learn to like-NO-love myself. Not one parent out there (excluding pageant moms) who look at their children love them any less because they aren’t’ thin enough. I will REMEMBER to love myself no matter what size I am, I will remember the lessons I learned from my parents not the messages from Hollywood.
Life is too short to spend hating yourself simply because you don’t look like some airbrushed stick figure in a magazine.
I’m not saying by liking myself I’m giving myself carte blanche to enter a world of gluttony, but I am saying it’s time for me to get off the diet merry-go-round. I’d like to know what it’s like to actually eat what I want and taste my food. And I’d really like to eat an entire meal-whatever it may be-without feeling like a failure, especially if it’s not a salad!
This will be a difficult journey for me; I’ve hated myself for so long. You may not see me in a mall any time soon, but when you do see me you better believe I’m going to look good, and I am going to hold my head high-no matter what size I am!
Wish me luck!