Lots of bullshit has been happening to all of the bitches lately. With the passing of Mindbling’s beloved Leon, Wormy’s stones, and my mystery tummy troubles, I think all of us have had just about enough. So what better way to cheer us all up then a night of eating, drinking, and dancing? Wikki and Wad’s wedding was there to be that night.
As I have mentioned before, my friends rarely ever get married. This was the first time that I have been in a wedding that wasn’t my cousin’s, my uncle’s, my mother’s or my own. The last time that I was a bridesmaid, I was 12 years old and wore a fuchsia dress with giant poofy sleeves and shoes died to match. It was the first time that I had ever walked in heels and I tripped the entire way down the aisle. Lovely. I have a picture of myself in that dress, but you will have to kill me in order to see it. Or just ask my mom nicely…I am sure she would show it.
Wormy has been in lots of weddings, so she knew the drill. She was there to instruct me on how low to hold my bouquet and what type of undergarments were best. She was also armed with yummy smelling glitter spray that I became obsessed with. I kept spraying it in hopes that I would look like a vampire in the sunlight.
We all made it down the aisle without tripping. I wish that I could show you a picture of Wikki, but because of her job as a spy for the CIA (oops, was I not supposed to say that?) I can’t. I will say she was the most stunning bride I have ever laid eyes on. I am pretty sure a woman has never looked more beautiful as she did as she descended the staircase with her dad. Wad looked pretty dapper himself and I am pretty sure there was not a dry eye in the house as they looked at each other for the first time at that moment.
Everything was lovely. No drama or craziness, so not too much to write about. Well, except for the very end of the night, once we got back to the hotel, the hotel bar was CLOSED! Gasp! Someone on the hotel staff had assured Wikki that the hotel bar would remain open for our post-reception party time. When this did not happen, Wad’s sister, who I have named Bout It (which for those of you who don’t know, is a term for someone who is not scared of anyone and is down to fight) went off on the desk person. She was so persuasive that THEY RE-OPENED THE BAR!!! OMG!!! Bout It is my new hero. The best part is that she is very sweet and relatively quiet. I would have never known she had it in her!
After the bar closed (for the second time), Wormy and Chilla came back to the room that we were sharing with Disney and Ginger. We drank beers and got totally silly. Wormy and I vowed to wear our bridesmaids dresses to a family dinner at my house in the near future. We both looked smoking hot, so here for your viewing pleasure…it’s don’t get much hotter then this, people. Enjoy!