Hot Mama Loves Her Bitches!!

Our little group is such a loving group. So supportive, sweet, and fantastical to each other. Our main goal in life is to raise each others self esteem and just make each other feel GREAT. Along with being so wonderful to each other, we spend lots of time discussing literature! Pretty much every conversation we have is of a literary nature…we are, like, so totally smart and stuff. Point in case, the following Facebook conversation took place just yesterday…I thought that you, our dear readers, would appreciate a little taste of a typical conversation in the life of the Bitches and their cohorts. Get ready for a dose of wit and intelligence!! Not!!

Wormy: Wondering where my TrueBlood book series is living these days. I am looking at @Mindbling and @Cousin

Cousin: I gots none of them. Look towards Ms. Bling. I never read them or took them from Mindbling’s house.

Mindbling: I have them! Hot Mama wants to borrow them. Is that okay or do you want me to tell her you don’t want her skanky butt reading them??

Cousin: Hot Mama just read dat…she mad!!

Hot Mama: Okay, reallllll nice!! I am gonna get those books and rub my skankness all over them.

Wormy: It’s ok, HM. I don’t think you could make them more skanky then MB already made them.

Cousin: Oh no. Did Mindbling get them pregnant?

Mindbling: Actually, the books got ME pregnant. So, Wormy, expect some ‘paperwork’ in the mail. Something about a wage attatchment. Just sayin.

Cousin: You may want to tell Mavrick. He may be a little suspicious if Mavbling comes out with 190 pages and a picture of a Vampire on his cover.

Hot Mama: Bwahahaha. I love the ladies who are commenting on this status. And I use the term ‘ladies’ loosely.

Cousin: Kind of like I used to use the word ‘date’.

Hot Mama: Or the term “I will meet you for ‘a couple’ drinks.”

Cousin: On our ‘first date’.

So there you go. This is how we actually talk to each other. And I say EFF SELF ESTEEM!!! I would much rather have my friends make me laugh hysterically then lie to me and tell me an ugly shirt looks sexy just to preserve my ‘self esteem’. We may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but these skanks are like my sisters…and they are MY skanks.

I love you, skanks!!

Xoxo
Hot Mama

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Hot Mama Loves Her Bitches!!

  1. I saw that convo and almost pissed myself.

  2. Cousin

    I didn’t realize this was a joke… So Mindbling didn’t get pregnant by a book series? I’m so confused.

  3. Hot Mama

    Ohhh, Cousin. Everyone knows that you get pregnant by swallowing a watermelon seed and then the stork comes along and pulls the baby out of your bellybutton with its teeth. Duh.

  4. If the child has fangs, we’ll know why.

    “Sorry, kid, you’re gonna have to be a bottle-baby. Maybe you can be a can-opener, but not MY cans.”

  5. I think Jane Austen talked with her skanks in much the same way.

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