The VMAs are the only award show that I watch. I love to see music stars get crazy. This year, my ultimate girl crush, Ms Chelsea Handler was hosting…Eminem was performing, Lady Gaga was up for a gazillion awards, and I finally have my brand new 42 inch flat screen installed. SCORE!
HP and I settled in to watch. Lindsey Lohan appears out of no where, throws Chelsea against a wall, and says that no one wants to work with a drunk. She would know! Sorry, LiLo, not funny yet. Didn’t you just get out of rehab about 20 minutes ago? I doubt the cocaine is even out of your system yet. If that was your attempt to win back the hearts of your former fans, you may want to try again…like by not smoking any crack for longer then two weeks.
The show opened with Eminem, singing his two newest angst filled hits. He must really hate his wife/ex wife/wife/ex wife. You can hear it in his voice. Rihanna made a surprise appearance to sing with him and I think those two should hook up…they both have abusive baggage, they could beat the shit out of each other and then make an entire album about it. They could be the ultimate messed up power couple.
Chelsea did a monologue which was meh. I expected much more vulgarity from her. I love her and I wanted her to talk lots of shit on people like she does on her show. Though I did enjoy her jumping into a hot tub with the cast of Jersey Shore and then reemerging with a fake pregnant belly. Hopefully she didn’t reemerge with a real case of the Herpes.
My girl Lady Gaga won about 300 awards and changed her outfit about 300 times. She looked like a cross between the statue of liberty and a butcher shop. Her last outfit was a dress, purse, shoes, and head piece made completely of raw meat.
She handed Cher her meat purse to hold while she accepted her award. What would one put into a meat purse? Seriously. I mean, I doubt I would want to put my cell, lipgloss, and smokes in there. Ew. Lady Gaga, if you ever come across our little blog, please, I am dying to know what you put into your meat purse. I am also dying to know if you stripped off your meat outfit and had a barbeque back stage after the show.
And then there was Taylor Swift, followed shortly there after my a Mr. Kanye West. I used to love Kanye West. I bought all his cds and listened to them all the time. I liked his style, his mix of string music with hip hop, his political views, and his face. I thought he was sexy, original, and interesting. I thought he actually had something to say. I thought.
I don’t normally get myself too upset over what famous people do cause I frankly don’t give a shit. My own life is crazy enough. But I have to admit, I did get caught up at last years incident at the VMAs.
That was bullshit. Taylor Swift is not my favorite singer, not by a long shot, but that was just awful. The look on her face when Kanye ruined her moment was heartbreaking.
So in a move of tremendous grace and maturity, Taylor Swift appeared on stage last night, barefoot, with a black and white tv in the background, showing a video of the ’incident’ with Kanye West last year. She then proceeded to sing a song about forgiveness. I gotta admit, for a 20 year old kid, she has some serious class.
Kanye, on the other hand, closed out the VMAs by making a complete ass of himself. His entire song consisted of lyrics that could have very well been written by a 12 year old boy. “Here’s a toast to the assholes, here’s a toast to the douche bags…” blah, blah, bullshit. Was he singing about himself? What a jack ass. It was a stupid song and it made no sense. I have no clue what he is so damn upset about, HE is the one who is the asshole douche bag. He has no one to blame but himself.
So there ya go. Don’t be surprised if you see me at Podcamp in meat pants and meat hoodie.