Pittsburgh PodCamp 5 – Heart Shirts, Drunk Zombies and Almost Getting Married

Sorry this post is a week late.  I (Wormy) was hung over as all holy hell on Sunday,  had an attack of the stones and my birthday on Monday, real work to do Tuesday and Wednesday and then we lost power Wednesday night until Thursday late day from the storm that almost ended the world. Friday I had to make up all the work I missed from the power being out.  It was one hell of a week I tell ya!

Having a "committee meeting" in matching heart t-shirts. Jealous much?

Good Morning Podcampers!!! Chilla and I woke up Saturday morning and dressed for the first day of classes in matching heart T-shirts. You see, around March Chilla found these shirts on thinkgeek.com and went crazycakes over them. They are battery operated and when you stand near the other person the hearts light up. When you are away from each other the hearts go dim.

See how my hearts go dim. I'm sadcakes that Chilla isn't standing beside me.

I wasn’t all that thrilled but because he wanted them SO BAD, I got them for him for his birthday in May. The things you do for love. We have been holding on to these shirts for 4 ½ months but today was the day. I hoped they worked. I hoped we wouldn’t be made fun of too much. I hoped we wouldn’t be beat up by thugs for looking like poindexters. They worked, we weren’t beat up but we did get a lot of people’s gag reflexes going all day long.  We’re cute…sue us!

Sessions all day were awesome.  There were so many good ones I didn’t get to go to them all.  2pm was The Bitches time slot for our session and I was a nervous wreck. Mindbling said she was coming. She promised. And she delivered. 1:55pm in breezes Mindbling and the crowd erupted into applause. I was so happy for her!  Our session went well, it seemed that everyone found it pretty funny and entertaining. I had a blast once my hands stopped shaking.  Since Chilla is a technogenius he Skyped in Mavrick, Jr. and Mavbling at the end of the session.  It was adorable and a perfect way to end our class. The video of all sessions should be up in a couple of weeks, so for the out of towners or folks that didn’t make it to Podcamp you will still be able to see The Bitches LIVE, well taped actually. You know you want to.

Here we are talking about very important things.

That night everyone trooped over to Bar Louie. I talked Bluzdude and Carpetbagger into doing the 6-4-9 shot since they were Podcamp virgins.  I learned my lesson the first year. No shots for me. But this year the bar was set up wrong and it ended up being a lame concoction of puckers and lime juice. Even I could do that.

Podcampers getting ready for the 6-4-9 shot. Beth910 is superduper excited!

A few hours later people were dropping off one by one, with me, Chilla, @Yay_Toast, @AllisonB and @Zack being the last ones standing. So we had another drink. This is a fun group to hang with. AllisonB comes up with the brilliant idea to go to Oktoberfest at Hofbruhause. This is when shit goes down hill quick.

After 18 detours, closed roads, game traffic and a tour of the Waterfront, we finally made it to Oktoberfest.  We needed a drink STAT.  AllisonB and Zack went to find some friends they knew were there so me and Chilla were just hanging out, minding our own business, in our matching light up heart t-shirts mind you…at OKTOBERFEST…no really, we blended in. NOT.  So anyway, we are drinking and this chick comes up bawling her eyes out and starts asking us about our shirts. While she is crying. And crying. I’m like, “are you ok?” She goes into this tirade about the love of her life moved away, yada yada yada…and oh! Come meet my friends! I want them to see your shirts. So she drags us over to her group and this one chick is like a physics major or something and wanted us to know how brilliant she was by giving us the technicality of the mechanic velocity of the centrifugal force of our t-shirts or something like that. Look honey, you’re smart, I get it. I’ve been drinking, heavily and without a nap I might add, for like 5 hours. I’m sooo not in the mood for this shit.

They stumble off  to do whatever it is that smart people do and not 2 seconds later another group rolls up asking about our shirts. Before I know it, some drunk dude is pulling over a chair and yelling that he is an ordained minister on the internet and he is going to marry us right then and there. Chilla and I look at each other all “how the hell did this happen? And how do we get rid of them?” One girl in the posse sees us all befuddled and pops over and says she’s a lawyer, he’s drunk just go with it. None of this is legally binding.  Thanks babe. Maybe I WANTED it to be legally binding.  Fortunately, AllisonB texts me that they are heading to Tiki Lounge. I’m down. Get me out of this Twilight Zone. I’d had enough.  We stumble up there, have a few cocktails and decide to call it a night.

We stagger all the way up Carson Street, cause apparently in my drunken stupor I refused a pedi-cab.  In hind sight we should have done it.  For one, it’s a long ass haul from 20th to our hotel on 10th when you’re sober. Its twice as far after a long night of throwing back cocktails. Two, we were accosted by every drunk person we passed about these damn shirts. Which ended up being about every 10 steps. They were like zombies on the attack and the flashing lights were a beacon in the night to attract them to us.  I had no idea the power electrical shirts had over the general population.

Home sweet home, we finally get to the hotel.  Three drunk dudes were hanging outside smoking and OF COURSE wanted to know about these shirts. So we start chatting and it’s a bachelor party from Ohio.  Oh! And guess what they did on their high adventure in the burgh! They all got tattoos. The same tattoo in the same spot to be exact.  And they wanted to show them off.  So all three dropped their drawers right there on Carson to show us.

Hawt or Not?

Not only did I learn a lot at Podcamp this year from the classes, I also learned to never wear electrical light up heart t-shirts around drunks. And definitely not to wear them if the zombies invade. That is a sure fire way for them to find you and eat your face off.



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4 responses to “Pittsburgh PodCamp 5 – Heart Shirts, Drunk Zombies and Almost Getting Married

  1. Were they zombies or moths?

    And I thought your shirts were just adorable. Now they should come up with a version that indicates the level of drunkenness.

  2. traininale

    Ok, the fact that you wore the shirt and didn’t want to re-established the lunch notion that Chilla is always looked to for technology regardless of the nerd alert level. God bless that man.

  3. sarah

    beth has been telling me bout this blog for years first time i read it.. will read it from now on..
    SO FUNNY!!!

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