About 2 months ago, Chilla and I went to a burlesque show at The Rex. Let me sidebar by saying we are burlesque connoisseurs. We’ve seen them all over the city by multiple troupes but this one in particular did something none of the others had ever done. Pole Dancing. The moment it started I was transfixed, as was the rest of the crowd. People were standing and screaming and clapping and just going crazy for this act, keeping in mind that really no clothes were coming off…(well that’s not entirely true, I think bras might have been tossed.) As I sat there watching this, all I kept thinking was “I want to learn this. I want to do this. This is amazing!” Chilla was all for it, thinking he was going to reap some kind of sexy benefit from it. So that night I started tweeting that I wanted to go to Pole Dancing classes and did anyone want to join me. I had a great response, but when it came down to doing it, @V_Rock was my sole partner in crime…er, dance….
This is what I thought I would look like:
We haul our cookies over to Fitness With a Twist, in the Southside. I walk in thinking “I got this…I have an extensive dance background….I’ve taken 18 different types of dance in my lifetime…this is going to be a snap!…I can’t wait!…I’m going to shake that pole like a screen door in a hurricane!” Um, yeah…that didn’t happen.
This is what I ended up looking like:
So class starts and I’m thinking this is a beginners class, it would go slow…maybe actually get on the pole in class 2 or 3. Oh hell no, your ass is on the pole within 5 minutes of the start of class 1. Now for some, this didn’t phase them (I’m looking at V_Rock, who actually did rock the pole from day 1) and then there was me.
A little known fact about Wormy…I tend to have a perfectionist quality/defeatist attitude with a dash of control freak thrown in when it comes to certain abilities. Dance being one of them. Its a fault I am well aware of. I’m used to being one of the best in the class, so to enter into something so foreign and not getting it right off the bat, put me in a foul giving up kind of mood. I almost walked out at one point, (dancers are SO dramatic!) with V_rock urging me to stay and that I could do it. With each spin, turn and lift, all I kept saying was “I can’t do it” and V_Rock would say “Yes you can. TRUST YOURSELF”. And that was the turning point. What I’ve come to realize is, I don’t trust myself and that I have a fear of “letting go”. I’m always afraid of failure, so why even try? If I don’t have total control of a situation it won’t work out the way its supposed to. This mentality has kept me back from things that, if I just went for it, I might actually succeed at them. At that moment I decided she was right. I could either be miserable and quit, never fulfilling my dream of spinning around a pole, or I could suck it up, fall on my ass, and get back up and do it again. I gave myself an attitude adjustment, let go of the death grip on the pole and choose to keep trying. Who knew that pole dancing would be a psychology lesson and a personal growth exercise? I was just looking to get my sexy on!
We are into our 6th week at this point. Chilla loves the stripper shoes I bought, and me and V_Rock are considering taking another class. I’m not the best BY FAR, but I am learning to trust myself and to just let go and spin. I have the bruises on my knees to prove it.