The Bitches Bring You Christmas Classics: Stumpy The One-Legged Stripper

Back before Bitchburgh, there was the mindbling blog. It started out as one lonely drunk girl and her laptop. Actually, it was a desktop, but I digress. Mindbling asked her dear friend, Wormy, to contribute some posts, and the rest is history.

The point of all of this is two Christmasses ago, we made a video. A video of a song I wrote. I took an old classic, Rudolph, and added a new twist. Namely, an amputee stripper named Stumpy. The thing just screams Christmas.

My cousin, Cousin, gamely played the part of Stumpy. The best thing about this is that she isn’t a real amputee. We used what us in the industry call ‘special effects’. It’s been a long time since Wormy and I have had the time to make a video. Life kind of happened. New jobs, new boyfriends, babies, jail time… and before you know it, two years have gone by.

So here it is again. Consider it a gift from your old pal mindbling. And dude. I look WAY better with blond hair.

Lyrics:

Stumpy The One Legged Stripper (to the tune of Rudolph)

You know Dusty and Busty and Willow and Windy,
Bubbles and Carmen and Luscious and Sindy,
But do you recall the most famous stripper of all?

Stumpy the one legged stripper
Had a very uneven gait

If she had to run somewhere
She would almost always be late

All of the other strippers
used to laugh and call her names
They never let poor Stumpy
Dance up on the big main stage

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Stumpy with your leg in half,
Won’t you dance up on my lap?

Then how the strippers loved her
As they shouted out with glee (whoopee!)
Stumpy the one legged stripper
You’re Santa’s favorite amputee!

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “The Bitches Bring You Christmas Classics: Stumpy The One-Legged Stripper

  1. Yes, a yuletide classic. What happens on the interwebs is…..permanent haha

  2. You bitches are killin’ me… Love it! And the fucking cat running around in back? Priceless.

    Merry Christmas you ho ho ho’s…

    (Who knew Santa was a white haired emo dude?)

  3. Goosedoublelime

    OH SHIT I HAD THIS ON MYSPACE STILL!!!!! Winter of 08 if I’m correct!!!

  4. Cousin_rocks

    I think we should re-film it. Like a remake. In a one piece this time. Stumpy needs to hit the gym!

  5. And everybody in McKee’s Rocks agreed that it was the best Christmas ever!

    Merry Christmas, Bitches!

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