Mindbling Tries, Fails to Hate on Jets. DAMMIT.

What are we having here? A tea party, or a FOOTBALL GAME?? Pass the scones, please.

I am having a very, very hard time working up a frothy hate for the Jets. Hell, the Steelers are having a hard time. It’s like a giant football love fest. Tomlin loves Ryan, Ben loves Sanchez, no one is trash talking. I don’t know if people are concerned that the Second Coming of the Lord is going to happen during halftime, but sweet jesus on a ginger snap, everyone is so full of love, it’s almost disgusting. If Ryan and Tomlin make out, I’m done watching NFL football.
Has anyone ever told you that you have pillowy lips? I mean, you do. Just like, I don’t know, soft little pillows.

The truth is, there just isn’t anything to hate about the Jets. They have a mouthy, cocky coach who loves his wife’s feet (I bet he rubs them all the time. Unlike SOME PEOPLE I KNOW). I actually really, really like Rex Ryan. Dude is funny. Sanchez? Well, of course I like Sanchez. What eye-bearing, straight woman doesn’t?

The Dirty Sanchez jokes are just too easy to make. Doesn't mean I'm not THINKING them though.

Revis? Have you seen his Dick’s Sporting Good’s commercials? He’s hilarious. Braylon Edwards? Sure, he got an off-season DUI, but we all make mistakes. He has stayed out of trouble, and, I gotta tell you, I saw him on Pardon the Interruption last night, and he seems like a really nice, well spoken guy. If I had a daughter, I would totally be fine with her dating him.

Even Santonio Holmes. Sure, the guy is sort of an idiot, and should not have ever had a Twitter account, but he won us a Super Bowl. Hey, thanks for that! And, we seriously need to watch him this game. He is probably going to be looking for chances to stick it to the Steelers, and catching a game-winning touch down for the Jets would be a pretty sweet way to do it. Then he can Tweet: ‘Just won the game, LOL. OMG, Im so stoned. LOL : )’

And then there is their iconic quarterback. I certainly can’t hate on Joe Namath. He is the originator of what the boys today call ‘swagger’. If he was on Madden 11, his swagger rating would be off the charts. Exhibit A:

If they had Uggs back then, he would totally be wearing them.

Reason # 2 I can’t hate on Namath, he played his college ball at the University of Alabama under the best coach to ever live, Bear Bryant. ROLL TIDE! And, hello, he is from Beaver Falls, PA. Right outside of Pittsburgh. Sort of explains the him being awesome, doesn’t it?

The Jets have had a great season. Hell, they beat us. And if they beat us again, I don’t think anyone is going to say that they don’t deserve a trip to the Super Bowl. As much as the Patriots would have brought the hate, (I seriously think Tom Brady is the biggest twat waffle in the NFL. He eats douche pancakes for breakfast. However, I love Danny Woodhead. It’s like a Smurf made the team) I’m glad we’re playing the Jets at home.

I know I said that I would dig up some dirt on the whole Jets/Steelers rivalry, and I tried. I really did. But my heart isn’t in it. I got this: In 1997, The Jets hired Bill Parcell’s, otherwise known as the Big Tuna, to come on as head coach. We have the Starkist Tuna headquarters here in Pittsburgh, dahn on the North Shore. IN YOUR FACE, NEW YORK!

OF COURSE I will be rooting for the Steelers to win this Sunday. They are my team, and even though it’s medically impossible, I actually do bleed black and gold. But I’m going to feel bad for the Jets when we beat them. My heart is going to go out to Ryan, Sanchez, et al. Poor guys. They had a hell of a run!

My best advice for the Jets if they want to make it to the Super Bowl next year? Switch over the NFC. We like you guys, but come on, man. We’re the Steelers!



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4 responses to “Mindbling Tries, Fails to Hate on Jets. DAMMIT.

  1. I had a link before over at SFDM about Sanchez and the awesome thing he did for that kid weeks before he died. I just can’t hate. Sigh. Good thing I’m not a huge NFL fan. But I do have me some love for our hometown, so I hope we win. Plus, I’m scared to venture out of my household the day after a big loss. Road rage anyone?

  2. Cousin_rocks

    I have God given proof that the Jets won’t win. Jones is Nils’ good luck charm. We all saw that last week. Without Jones, Nils is outta luck. He will be at the game and we will have the precious charm. This game, is ours. That being said, I would like some smush time with Sanchez. I am hoping Nils can set this up whilst at the game.

  3. I can’t hate on ol’ Rex, just because he’s the most entertaining coach in football. I’m so tired of all the coaches getting up at their press conferences and dancing around every question and ultimately saying nothing. Rex goes up there like a standup comic.

    A’course, he still has to go down this weekend, no question. “Now let’s go get a goddamn snack!”

    (BTW, how is he not doing snack commercials in NYC?)

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Mindbling Tries, Fails to Hate on Jets. DAMMIT. | BitchBurgh -- Topsy.com

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