Mindbling Learns A New Thing – Kitchen Sink Edition

Sometimes you pee in the sink, sometimes the sink pees on you.

I don’t consider myself a girlie girl. I don’t like fashion, or cosmotinis, or shaving. I would rather watch sports than shop. When all of my girl friends got together to see the Sex in the City movie, I went to the strip club with the husbands and boyfriends. That’s just how I am.

I relate very well to men. And I thought I knew men very well. Turns out I was horribly, terribly, god-awfully wrong.

Cousin and her boyfriend, Water Wings, came over last Sunday to watch the Jets/Patriots game. Water Wings is a huge Jets fan, and being that the thought of the Patriots losing filled me with untold amounts of joy, we decided it would be fun to hang out and watch the game together.

Of course this entailed some adult beverages. Some of us whose name rhymes with Smavrick might have had more than others. Cousin was in the downstairs powder room, using the bathroom, as she does very often because she has IBS. Mavrick was complaining about walking ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS to pee, and then drops this on me:

“You know, sometimes I pee in the kitchen sink.”

I was HORRIFIED by this, and thought he was joking. There is no way that my Mavrick, my well-educated, well-dressed, and well-behaved boyfriend, would do something so barbaric.

Oh no, he was serious.

Me – “But our DISHES are in that sink.”

Mav – “Don’t worry sweetie, I take the dishes out first”

Me – “Our baby’s BOTTLES are in that sink!”

Mav – “I’ve actually peed in the sink while I held the baby!”

It was at this point that I realized that there something seriously wrong with Mavrick. I just couldn’t understand why he would do that. I decided that public shaming was proper punishment for this crime, so I tweeted and Facebooked that Mavrick pees in the sink.

And boy was I in for a surprise. Sure, there were a fair amount of indignant Eeewss and grosses, but there were way more men saying Yep, that happens and women saying that they, too, have sink-pee-ers. One man even went as far as to accuse Mavrick of breaking The Man Code, which I used to think was a myth but am now convinced actually exists and is passed around from man to man, complete with sink peeing instructions.

Why go to the trouble of moving the dishes when you could walk 15 feet and pee in the toilet? Why create MORE work for yourself, because you also better be rinsing the sink out real, real well when you’re done. I could not wrap my female brain around this. The reason that Mavrick pees in the kitchen sink is because he CAN. Where I, a woman, see a sink full of dinner dishes, Mavrick, a man, see an opportunity to say, “Hmmm. Can I pee in that?”

Here is Cousin, representing for the ladies. And no, she wasn't really peeing in the sink. That I know of.

And also, as Water Wings pointed out, no man ever got yelled at for leaving the sink lid up.

So yes, it’s true. Some men, not all men, but some men, pee in the sink. And on Friday, we added one more to the list. Tony Kornheiser of ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption (PTI). That is mine and Mavrick’s favorite show. We DVR it and watch it together everyday. I love Tony Kornheiser. And Mike Wilbon. I want to be their friend and go have beer with them.

I think that someone, somewhere at PTI follows my Twitter. Because how in the hell else do you explain this:

Tony, call me! Let’s hang out and drink beers, and then you and Mavrick can pee in sinks together!

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Mindbling Learns A New Thing – Kitchen Sink Edition

  1. Allison

    My dad is a chronic {obvious} sink pee-er. Last year, it was so bad that it was eroding the plumbing. Given that he is less than handy; I had the unenviable job of swapping out the powder room sink’s pee-filled old plumbing for new tubes. It was as horrifying as it sounds… You’re welcome for that lovely mental image.

  2. LISA

    I just asked the husband of HE did. Thankfully he was all grossed out. However, I hope I didn’t just give him an idea….

  3. cousin_rocks

    I very much enjoyed that night. Anything from last night we can blog about???

  4. Dan

    I’m a guy, which means I’ve done a lot of disgusting things in my life that I’m not particularly proud of, but if I had to pee so bad that I couldn’t wait for a free bathroom, I’d go out in the yard before freely spraying urine in my kitchen.

  5. I, too, consider peeing in the sink completely taboo. It would have to be some kind of apocolyptic series of events that would lead me to such an action. And it’s not just me…

    Back in the 80’s, my brother was in a fraternity at Ohio State. At one of their partied, he found some hanger-on guy peeing in their sink. My brother physically dragged him down the back stairs, screaming at him the whole time about how they had to wash up in those sinks, and threw the guy into the dumpster.

    So please don’t generalize the male of the species on this particular point. Every population has a few village idiots.

    • Mindbling

      I’m sure you’re not calling my baby daddy an idiot. I’m going to go ahead and assume you meant other idiots. I tend to not lump anyone together. I’m just reporting that I didn’t know anyone did this, then I found out a lot of people did. Men AND women. Must be hard for you, living with all those idiots around.

  6. Holy Toledo

    HOW DISGUSTING!!! That is gross beyond words. To set the record straight……………Mavrick was potty trained on the toilet never ever in a sink.

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