Ok. So some of you may know that me and Mavrick had An Incident. I am not going to get into the Details of the Incident, but I will say that I’m glad I resisted my original impulse to blog all about it and smear his name all over the interwebz in a most public fashion (well, anymore than I already did). Because we have Overcome. We did The Therapy. We are now Stronger. Our relationship is Better, and I am Happier and Have Received Many Presents and Flowers and also Cards.
And let’s leave it at that, shall we? Moving on…
Wait. What? You want to know MORE? You people are really insatiable, you know that, right? I know that I live large chunks of my entire life online, but there is a limit. For instance, I didn’t post my naked pregnancy photos. So HA! Hmmm? I posted a video of my pelvic exam? Okay, I guess you have me there.
See, the problem with being online is that sometimes it’s too easy to let an angry moment get out of control. If you add in the fact that I have a terrible temper and I drink too much, well, let’s just say I’m surprised I don’t have more content out there to regret terribly.
Being an online presence and living online can be fun, exciting, dangerous, potentially embarrassing, and bad for your future employment prospects. But it’s also incredibly gratifying for me as a writer. I will most likely never have a book, or a movie made about a life, but I have you. And if I make you laugh, or brighten your day, then that makes me feel really, really good. So how do you find the balance to write and not get fired or alienate your family? Maybe you don’t.
I would like to think at the ripe age of 3coughcoughcough that I’ve found the secret sauce that lets me be edgy, fun, funny, entertaining, relevant, and not have my children taken away by CYF, but alas, I have not. Over the holidays one of Mavrick’s family members asked me why I haven’t blogged lately. And I didn’t want to tell them, well, it was sort of because of them.
Guys, it’s sort of because of you. Too many people I know started reading this. Work people, family, people, people that make me uncomfortable posting some of my previous content. Or, people who I would normally blog ABOUT, but now can’t, or I am seriously down a Christmas present.
There are things I want to be brutally honest about, funny stories, and heartbreaking stories, that I want to tell, that I’m ACHING to tell, but I’m afraid of hurting people, or of people’s judgment. And let me tell you, people can be PLENTY judgy.
This whole Incident has made me reevaluate what I put out there (too late for the stuff I already have. Hate on, haters. That was some funny, funny shit). I can’t regret what I’ve already done. That’s what the wine is for. I physically can’t remember it to regret it. All I can do is learn and move on. (My therapist, who also reads this blog, is probably pretty damn proud of herself right now). I don’t have to tell EVERYTHING, but I can tell a lot. I mean guys, my life is pretty fucking sweet and hilarious. I honestly don’t know how I’m not famous.
So that’s it. No more lines. I’m going to write about what I’m going to write about, and I’m going to make every effort to not hurt people, and I’m going to think before I type, but dammit, I’m going to write. I’m going to bear in mind that people are watching and reading and that my kids will one say see this, if they haven’t already (well, not so worried about the baby. He can’t read. Yet. That little fucker is SMART!). I will be thoughtful and compassionate, but I beg of all of you who know me, consider this before you do something in front of me: Would you want this online? YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WARNED.
In the spirit of erasing lines.. Hello. My name is Bethany. Some of you may know me as mindbling, and I will always answer to that. I have two kids, a very loving (and Lucky) boyfriend, a bulldog, a job I love, a Jeep, a house, and a wine addiction. I love to write, and I hope you like to read it. Even when it’s about you. Just know, it’s all in the spirit of fun, and I love each and every one of you.
Well. Except, maybe, you.